From the Mayor’s Desk: Empathy Is the Foundation of Good Government

The Importance of Seeing Each Other Clearly

In my last column, I emphasized the importance of collaboration to solve problems. This past week, several situations reminded me again how quickly we can lose sight of one another’s perspectives. Whether it was concern over a proposed policy change, frustration about uneven enforcement of guidelines, or a city employee on the receiving end of their frustration, the common thread was a lack of empathy.

Let me assure you: your mayor, city council, and city staff are deeply engaged with complex, meaningful issues. We value your input and ask for your respect in return. I assume good intentions in every resident and business owner I meet, and I hope you’ll extend the same grace to those serving our community. In a close-knit town like Carmel-by-the-Sea, mutual understanding is essential. Our proximity is part of the charm—and it sometimes calls for added patience and kindness.

What It Takes to Serve

Serving as mayor or council member is demanding, time-consuming, and for all practical purposes, unpaid. Yet each member of this council stepped up out of a deep love for Carmel and a strong sense of responsibility. Though the council and I have only been working together for 90 days, we’ve already made meaningful progress. One recent milestone, approving a contract for a potential $15 million remodel of the Harrison Memorial Library - at no cost to the city, shows what’s possible when public servants and staff partner with passionate civic groups.

A Council Committed to Decisive Action

This council is focused on making fair, thoughtful decisions based on facts. We listen to residents, staff, and business owners, ask good questions, speak honestly, and take responsible action. We value common sense, have friendly debate, and don’t believe in delay or deflection. Carmel needs forward-thinking leadership—and that’s what we’re here to deliver.

Respect Is a Two-Way Street

The best decision making relies on public partnership. Success requires mutual respect and the willingness to understand each other's point of view. Before reacting in frustration, I ask that you pause and reflect. Be kind. Be constructive. Ask why a policy exists and what issue it addresses. If you have a better idea, share it. Get involved early. If you're a business owner navigating city rules, know that staff operate within structures shaped by past decisions. Council can revise those when needed. City employees should understand some policies may confuse or frustrate residents at first. And for those of us in government, it’s our job to keep listening and lead with empathy.

Shared Goals, Shared Responsibility

You don’t have to agree with every decision to be part of the solution. Disagreement is healthy. But let’s assume good intentions and remember we all want what’s best for Carmel.

Our shared goals are clear: preserve the village charm, improve safety, support local businesses, and enhance quality of life. We are modernizing infrastructure, streamlining the permitting process and tackling long-standing challenges. We know some policies are outdated, and our customer service can improve. A future column will speak more on that.

Let’s Take Care of Each Other

The road ahead won’t always be easy, but it’s easier when we treat each other with respect and approach problems with a solution-oriented mindset. Attend meetings with ideas in hand. Keep comments crisp and kind. At a late night meeting a smile goes a long way. Reach out through respectful emails or personal conversations with council members, commissioners, or staff. As your mayor, I will continue to lead with honesty and humility—and I invite you to do the same. Let’s take care of one another and build a stronger Carmel-by-the-Sea together. To hear an AI-generated podcast of this column visit cli.re/empathy.

Dale Byrne Mayor Carmel-by-the-Sea

cbyrne@cbts.us